The wonderful late Danish comedian and pianist Victor Borge presents his phonetic punctuation system and illustrates it with an except from a “pick pocket edition of a Johann Sebastian Shakesphere’s short story”.
“In the open window there suddenly came light. Beautiful Eleanor had alone dreaming of but one thing. – Two years had passed, since she met Sir Henry. She could still remember the unhappy evening, when her father had thrown him out. They had been sitting in the park and Henry had said: “Darling! Is this the first time you have loved?” She had answered: “Yes – but it is so wonderful, that I hope it shall not be the last!”
Suddenly she heard a well known sound. It was he. In two strikes he was near her, embraced, kissed and caressed her. “Henry! What is love?” she asked. He answered: “Well, I couldn’t live without!”……….. ”She asked: “Where have your thoughts been?” He answered: “With thee, my lady.” Suddenly he had gone. All she heard was the well-known sound of his departing horse.
In another show, Borge teaches Dean Martin his system and they alternate practice and performance in a series of well-known songs: Remember (“Remember the night you said ‘I love you!’, remember?”), Never on a Sunday (“Oh, you can kiss me on a Monday / A Monday, a Monday is very very good”), Fly Me To The Moon (“Fly me to the moon / And let me play among the stars”), Maria (“I just met a girl named Maria / And suddenly that name / Will never be the same / To me”), Wunderbar (“Wunderbar, Wunderbar! / What a perfect night for love / Here I am, here you are, / Why, it’s truly wunderbar!”), Shall We dance? (“Shall we dance? / On a bright cloud of music shall we fly? / Shall we dance? / Shall we then say, goodnight and mean goodbye?”) and Do-Re-Mi (“DO – a deer, a female deer / RE – a drop of golden sun / MI – a name, I call myself”).
A French standup comedian (some happen to like his “humor”, I happen not to) did a much more recent act which is essentially a French (and vulgar) adaptation of Borge’s classical (and classy) act, without giving any credits whatsoever to its creator.
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